I watched a thirty-seven year marriage end. It’s a tragedy
for
everyone involved. The husband’s infidelities came to light and his
wife was overwhelmed by deep and justifiable feelings of betrayal and
grief. She was an emotional wreck: One
moment she was shouting and stomping around her house, the next moment she was sad
and weepy. The adult children of that marriage were heart-broken to see the
dissolution of their original family. They rallied around their mother who was, after all, the first aggrieved party. In turn, the unfaithful husband and
father responded to his sons and daughters with cold detachment. This intensified the pain of his family
I suspect the feigned indifference was to mask his internal shame
and gnawing guilt. He knew he betrayed the very people who loved him
most by breaking the vows he made to his wife before Almighty God and the
community. He was supposed to love,
protect and nurture his family ─
but in the end he broke their hearts and trust.
There are no winners in divorce, only losers. Divorce even hurts the community, yet there is so much of it.
There are no winners in divorce, only losers. Divorce even hurts the community, yet there is so much of it.
Marriage was established by God as the union of a man and a
woman. Marriage is a sacred institution
and must not be torn down, altered or abandoned.
At the heart of divorce is sin. It may manifest itself as infidelity,
jealously, discord, mutual recriminations, conflict, violence or domination,
but it is all rooted in spiritual rebellion and rejection of God and His love.
Sadly, I must admit that divorce has marred and scarred my
extended
family. There has been so much of
it. I can honestly say that not one person has
been better because of it. They all are poorer. I’m not talking about financial
poorness ― although that often was an issue too ― I am talking about poverty of
the heart, spirit and soul that is the worst of all human poverties. Spiritual poverty is the ultimate result of
sin.
Jesus taught that from the beginning of human history the
original union of a man and a woman was willed by God and determined by God to
be indissoluble. Thus Jesus said: “Therefore
what God has joined, no human being must separate.” (Matthew 19.6)
Yet people do tear apart marriage and that is a sin.
The key to a successful marriage is to follow Christ, renounce
self-interest, and place the interests of our spouse before ourselves. It is in faithfully following
Christ that the original meaning of marriage can be discovered.
Although I am not divorced, I do know sorrow, heart-ache and
pain. Many of my posts have chronicled them. My consolation is following Christ.
I have discovered that there can be peace even in the midst calamity. I don’t know
how those seemingly contradictory states can co-exist simultaneously, but they can
and do. It’s a glorious mystery available to Christians to enjoy in their
happiest moments or darkest hours.
Like the old hymn tells us, God is our refuge, a mighty
fortress in
time of need. That fortress
is a refuge designed for the rejected or deserted, the broken-hearted, and people
who think they are unloved. In that refuge of God they will find unconditional
love and acceptance even if it seems that their earthly world is falling apart.
Yes, God hates divorce but He loves you more than you can
imagine. Regardless of what has broken your heart, let go of your pain or grudges and give them to God. Forgive. -- Mark
[Click on image below or http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=indCvnD4Ji4 for Kevin LeVar "A Heart That Forgives"]
[Click on image below or http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=indCvnD4Ji4 for Kevin LeVar "A Heart That Forgives"]
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