An unforgiving spirit is corrosive to the soul.
It can affect our relationships with others and how others relate to us. An
unforgiving spirit darkens how we see the world and can even distort
perceptions of reality. But most damaging of all, an unforgiving spirit affects
human relationships with God.
When Jesus gave us his model prayer, he includes
the phrase “And forgive us our debts and we forgive our debtors.” At the end of
it, Jesus gave further explanation saying, “If you forgive others their
transgressions, your heavenly father will forgive you. But if you do not
forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your transgressions.” (Matthew
6.14-15) A commentary in the CATHOLIC STUDY BIBLE (Oxford University Press) explains
that the word debts is used metaphorically for sins, “debts” owed to God.
Later in the Book of Matthew, Jesus was
speaking to the disciples about sins of one person against another. Peter asked, “Lord, if my brother sins
against me, how often must I forgive him? As many as seven times? Jesus answered, "I say to you, not seven
times but seventy-seven times.” (See Matthew 18.21-22). I have often wondered why Peter picked seven
for the limit to forgiveness? Apparently
it is found in some older commentaries state that rabbis established that if an
offender asked for forgiveness three times in the presence of witness he had to
be forgiven. Perhaps Peter picked seven
as the perfect but limited number. Jesus’ answer was not merely a play on
sevens or saying if someone sins against you or me seventy-eight times we need
not forgive them for the last one.
A footnote in my Catholic Study Bible attached
to this passage says that the seventy-seven times corresponds to Genenis 4.24
where Lamech boasts his extreme and limitless vengeance. Jesus reversed
Lamech’s ancient, obscene and perversely proud boast, to demand of his
disciples limitless forgiveness. Then
Jesus went on to tell the parable of the unforgiving servant who was forgiven a
large debt but refused to forgive others’ lesser debts. In the parable, when the master discovers this
he is enraged. Jesus concludes his
parable: “And his master was angry, and delivered him [the servant] to the
torturer until he should pay back all that was due him. So my heavenly Father
also will do to you, unless each of you forgives his brother from his heart.”
Forgiveness is an essential ingredient to being
forgiven. We see a couple of dynamics in
this parable: There is great absurdity for a Christian who has been forgiven so
much to withhold forgiveness from others. The Father’s forgiveness already
granted may be reinstated if we do not forgive others. We read again in the gospel of Mark, Jesus
deals with the connection between receiving forgiveness and being forgiven, in
context of prayer:
“When you stand to pray, forgive anyone against
whom you have a grievance, so that your heavenly Father may in turn forgive you
your transgressions.” (Mark 11:25-26)
The forgiveness we receive from God is
dependent on the forgiveness we give to people. It is a spiritual maxim that
Christ did not want us to miss. So why do so many Christians miss it, including
me? We hold grudges and savour them like a candy we roll around in our mouths.
The damage we do to our own spirit in sweet bitterness exceeds the damage we
wish or imagine for the other party. Begrudging
Christians should hang their heads to consider how often they expect God to
forgive their sins (often the same sin committed time and time again).
There is a reciprocal aspect to Christianity.
Yes, it is true that Jesus died for all and that God’s forgiveness is freely
attained through faith in Christ’s atoning sacrifice at Calvary. The free gift of salvation is only free to
those who will accept it through faith and repentance. A gift must be accepted and opened. The gift
is the Truth of Jesus Christ.
The reciprocal part of forgiveness is forgiving.
In as much as possible, God wants us to live in peace with others. We are
called to greater heights that must not be weighed down by an unforgiving
spirit or holding grudges. This is particularly true within the great family of
Christians. Just prior to his Passion,
Christ said, “As I have loved you, so you should love one another. This is how
all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
Love for one another is a great witness to a world where wrongs are settled
with violence and contempt. We are to love one another. Forgiveness is
essential.
If Jesus could ask forgiveness for the people
who were crucifying him, then surely we as his followers can forgive those who
hurt us!
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